The Unseen Tug of Being 18

There’s something strange about being 18. It’s like standing at the edge of a cliff, looking out at a world full of possibilities, but feeling the weight of everything pulling you in different directions. It’s exciting, sure—but it’s also terrifying. Everyone talks about how you’re stepping into adulthood, but what no one seems to mention is how you still feel like a kid, unsure of what’s next.

I remember when I was younger, I couldn’t wait to grow up. It felt like all the freedom I ever wanted was just waiting for me. I could make my own decisions, live my own life, and do everything my way. But now that I’m here, I realize that freedom comes with a thousand choices. And the thing is, no one tells you how to make them.

Take the future, for example. People keep asking me what I want to do with my life. Like I’m supposed to have this big, clear picture of where I’m headed. But honestly? Some days, I feel like I’m just guessing. There’s this pressure to have it all figured out, to be ambitious, to make something of myself—but part of me still wants to just hit pause and figure out who I am first.

It’s funny, too, because while I’m trying to make these huge life decisions, I’m also dealing with stuff that’s so trivial it almost makes me laugh. Like figuring out how to balance work, friends, and the growing pile of responsibilities that come with “adulthood.” One minute I’m planning for my future, and the next, I’m stressing about something as simple as forgetting my keys or what to wear. It’s these little things that make me realize I’m still learning—about myself, about the world, and about what it means to be 18.

And then there’s the whole social media thing. It’s a blessing and a curse, really. On one hand, it feels like everyone’s living their best life—traveling, achieving big things, always knowing exactly what they want. On the other hand, I know it’s not the full story. It’s just a highlight reel, and yet, I can’t help but compare myself to it sometimes. The pressure to “be something” is constantly there, but the reality is, I’m still figuring out who I am behind all the filters and posts.

If I’m being honest, the thing that scares me the most is the idea of failing. Everyone seems to have this expectation that at 18, you’re supposed to be full of potential, ready to conquer the world. But what if I don’t? What if I make the wrong choices, take the wrong path, or waste the opportunities I have? It’s a fear that sits quietly in the back of my mind, even on the good days.

But then again, maybe that’s the point. Maybe being 18 is about feeling like you’re in between—between childhood and adulthood, between certainty and confusion, between who you were and who you’re becoming. I’m starting to realize that I don’t need to have all the answers right now. Maybe it’s okay to still feel a little lost, to still be figuring things out.

So, here I am, 18 and stumbling my way through life, knowing I’m not alone. Everyone who’s been here before knows the feeling—the excitement, the fear, the uncertainty. And I guess that’s what being 18 is all about: learning to embrace the chaos and trust that, somehow, things will fall into place.

Meher Mishra

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